Decoding Your Life’s Path And Purpose Through Numerology With Felicia Bender (S3E9)

PTBE Felicia Bender | Numerology


Embark on a fascinating journey into the depths of numerology, where the unique vibrational energies of numbers intertwine with our personal experiences, providing a mystical lens through which to understand the intricacies of life. In this episode, Clare Sente and Rachel Watson sit down with professional numerologist Felicia Bender to talk about what numerology is and how it can help us learn more about our life’s path and purpose. Similar to personality testing, it is a tool to offer insight into our choices and preferences, which can be very helpful when dealing with important relationships and understanding our world. Tune in to explore the mystical realm of numbers and gain a deeper understanding of the forces shaping your life.

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Decoding Your Life’s Path And Purpose Through Numerology With Felicia Bender

If you are reading this for the first time, maybe because of this episode’s topic, it interested you, welcome. We’re happy that you’re here. If you are one of our loyal readers, we are widening our lens because something that Rachel and I love to do is find out more about ourselves and the world around us. The way we’re going to do that is with a special guest. Her name is Felicia Bender and she is a numerologist. I have been following Felicia for a few years via the emails that she puts out, and learning more about myself and the other people around me that I love. I’m going to bring on Felicia Bender and let her say hi.

I am thrilled to talk with you. We’re going to have so much fun.

I watched a webinar by Felicia on romantic relationships. If anyone follows this show, they know that I’m still looking for love in all the right places. It was great to watch her webinar but Felicia is a full-time numerologist in her practice. In her prior life, she has a Master’s and a PhD in Theater, which I find extremely interesting because I love women who change careers in their lives to see their full expression. Maybe she’ll tell us a little bit about that. She also sends us each month, in her numerology report, pictures of her grand dogs, which I am in love with, little Oscar.

We have a new addition, who is Rio. Oliver or Oli. Oli for short, depending on the day.

Let’s get into this. The one thing I’m super excited about is that Felicia said that she would weave some of the information about numerology. She was going to do my birth chart, which sounds very interesting. Felicia, when someone comes to you and says, “I don’t understand. Why should I be interested in numerology?” What do you say?


PTBE Felicia Bender | Numerology


What Is Numerology

It’s interesting because, first of all, numerology puts on the brakes with most people because they think it’s math. How many people are math-phobic? Raise your hands.

Probably a lot.

It’s a cosmic joke that I do this in terms of math because I’m serious. Math has been my most excruciating subject from early on in childhood so I don’t know if I came kicking and screaming to numerology but certainly, it was not a natural adaptive thing for me. What I find is that numerology isn’t math. For those of you out there who are sweating, because you think you’re going to have to do a lot of math, you’re not going to have to.

It’s more like the numbers are a language. The way that I like to say very briefly is that numerology is the art and science of numbers. It’s posited with this idea. First of all, I should probably say that I use Pythagorean numerology. There are different kinds of numerology. I use the one that comes from Pythagoras. We’re going to reference math class. If anyone was paying attention, it was the same guy who did the Pythagorean theorem of geometry.

He was also a Greek mathematician and a mystic. He was into astronomy and music. It collates with the whole concept of numerology in which he posits this idea that numbers carry with them, not only a quantitative that we can count with them, 1 apple, 2 apples, and so on, to use that example, but that each number carries with it a frequency or vibration. It is a container for code.

Numbers carry with them not only a quantitative value that we can count with, but that each number carries with it a frequency, a vibration, that is a container for code. Click To Tweet

In some ways, I feel that we can a little bit more willingly suspend our disbelief in our world where everything is digits. Even if you think about it, our phone number is a string of numbers and it goes through somewhere and gets to a device where we can hear someone. It is magic if you think about it. What I like to think or put into play for numerology is it’s always operational, whether we know it or believe in it or not. It’s like gravity or cell phone reception. The cloud, what is that? Where is it? How does that operate? We don’t have to understand it. It’s there. It’s the same with numbers and numerology.

I like to explain it as let’s say you walk into a room and there’s Morse code going on. You don’t know Morse code. You just think it’s annoying. It’s static, whatever you walk through the room. If you know Morse code, you walk into a room and listen to it, you’re like, “I’m going to write down that message. There’s some information coming across here.” It’s the same with numerology.

We can look at the numbers whenever they show up and plug them in in terms of the content that they contain. What I like the most, and this goes back to my theater training and who I am, is I have always been fascinated with human nature. What makes us different? What drives us? Why does this person have this personality and this person has that one? All of that.

In theater, I explored that through acting, directing, and those stories. It extends into numerology because we will look at, “To formulate a chart for someone with numerology, we need your full name as it shows up on your birth certificate.” It’s funny not to do a deep dive but even if it’s misspelled. It gets a little interesting if you say you were adopted. We believe in the numerology world that nothing is a mistake.

I’ve worked with people whose original name was Baby Girl Jones. That’s what we’ll use. We’re going to look at the adopted name and everything else but it offers a real depth and breadth to say that those folks who have this blurring of identity at the get-go will be a constant theme lifelong. These people will always be more so than most people seeking their identity and it always seems out of reach and fuzzy. It is part of their life’s purpose. Their sole contract was, “You’re going to do this so how are we going to set up the stage for you to accomplish that?” It’s very much that way.

We use the name as it appears on the birth certificate. We will also look at the first and last name that you socially use because that’s how you are seen in the world. If you think about numerology, we’re looking at the numbers. When we look at your name, we’re going to take each letter, convert it into a number, and use it that way. Even if you think about, for instance, Elton John, his name is Elton John. Would he have had success if he were Reginald Dwight, which was his original name? It’s that funny thing about how things sound and how it affects not only us who carry that name and it affects how others respond to us.

Ringo Starr.

Anyone. You and I had a little conversation by email, Clare, about having a name on your birth certificate, yet the middle name didn’t resonate with you so you changed that legally.

By myself, without my parents’ help.

Probably without their approval.

What a precocious little girl you are. I love it.

I’m looking at your chart and I’m like, “That was part of the point, too.” We could look at what that deeper implication might be for you and what that means for you in terms of your sense of self, identity, and purpose in your life. When we formulate these profiles or charts, it’s like astrology. In astrology, you can know your sun sign and that’s all well and good, yet if you want to get the most out of your astrology, you do the full chart.

It’s the same thing with numerology. We will use your full name as it is on your birth certificate and then your date of birth. With those, we will formulate an entire chart for you that will indicate what you came in here to do, your path and purpose, how you’re going to do that, and your soul desires. Your birthday number offers you an interesting foundation about where you are coming from and where you feel comfy. There are cycles of time that we can derive from this as well. There’s a lot of depth that can go in with an entire numerology chart.

Numerology Reading

Instead of jumping into that, can you tell us maybe one example of how someone by doing their chart with them you’re able to help them feel like, “Now, I know I don’t feel like I fit in.” If someone is like, “We’re going to go through some numbers. What does this mean,” give us a relatable story. Let’s say it’s a woman who in midlife might be trying to figure out what direction she should take. It can’t be that specific. Maybe you have a better example but I thought that might be something that a reader might want to know.

I could pull an example but here’s something that would be more effective for those reading. Could we use you as an example? Do you mind?

Nope. We could use me as an example. I just don’t want to feel like I’ve taken up too much space, Rach.

I’ve taught workshops in the past where I’ll use an example. I was like, “Here’s Oprah Winfrey.” I remember a woman saying, “I don’t care about Oprah. I don’t give a damn about Oprah. I want to know about me. Let’s do me.” I’m like, “Okay.” With that said, what I’d like to do is set this up where if you’re reading, you can have a takeaway from this and calculate your life path number. You’re probably going to go, “I’m going to do my significant other, my kids, my parents, my ex, bestie,” and all of those things. I’ll walk you through that. What we’ll do is I’ll give you one sentence for each number to give you an idea about the basic component and then we’ll move over into your chart. I’ll attempt to put a few things in line that maybe give you more of a depth and a breadth of idea about what it can tell you.

Readers, all you have to do is go to her website and there’s lots of information that’s there if you’re getting intrigued by any of this and you want to dive deeper.

If you’re driving or operating heavy machinery, please do not do this. What I would say is that it’s a very easy calculation but like in carpentry, it’s measured twice, cut once. It’s the same with numerology. You do your math at least 2 to 3 times because if you’re off one number, you are off.

It’s because each number has a vibration.

It has characteristics and themes. Each number carries with it the optimal qualities that we’re shooting for and aligning with that is always going to be a challenge with the opposing forces and oppositional, whether it’s an overactive element to that theme or underactive. Those are other things that people love to hate or hate to love, which is like, “I know all the good stuff. Where are my problems?” I’m like, “You got it.” They always say, “I’ll do the optimal.” I’ll say, “What could possibly go wrong?” We’ll then do that.

PTBE Felicia Bender | Numerology
Numerology: Each number carries with it the optimal qualities that we’re shooting for.


That’s what I love also about numerology. There’s no harm, no foul. There is no criticism or judgment. It’s like, “This is what it is. These are the challenge points.” It’s plain and simple. We all have them no matter what. We just have them differently. With that said, what we’re going to do is a quick calculation for the life path number, which indicates what you came in here to do. If you’re an astrology fan, it’s like knowing your astrological sun sign.

It’s what we came in here to do. We’re going to have some innate gifts, skills, and talents. It’ll go with that, yet we’ll also have some more distinctive climbing walls to get there in terms of those themes. It’s good to know those so that you can have those as points of reference to keep coming back to, no matter what your life path number might be.

With you, Clare, we’re going to look at your birthday, which is September 25th, 1962. There are different ways of adding and I’m going to give you one way of doing it. September is a 9 and you write down the number 9 because that’s pretty easy. It’s the ninth month. The 25th is two digits. For these purposes, we are reducing to a one-digit number all the time. 2 plus 5 is 7. The 25th is reduced to a number 7.

This is the hardest math we’re going to do all day. It is 1962. You do 1 plus 9 plus 6 plus 2. 1 plus 9 is 10, plus 6 is 16, plus 2, 17, 18. We have two digits and we’re going to take the 1 in the 18. 1 plus 8 equals 9 so then we’re at number 9. We take all three of those numbers and add them together. 9 plus 9 is 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25. That is still a two-digit number so we’re going to take the 2 plus the 5 and that is a 7. With that math, you are a seven life path or you have a seven life path, depending on how you look at it or how you verbalize that.

I’m going to talk about the seven and then briefly all the other numbers so that as you’re reading, you can do all the math you want. We’ll get back to where you can figure out who you are. You happen to be a life past 7 and your birthday is a 7. It’s both the 25 and 7, I would look even more deeply than that. That has doubled. When we double up on those energies, we have doubled the pleasures, treasures, and challenge points that go with that.

In neurology, I call the 7 the analyst and “sometimes reluctant spiritualist or spiritual seeker.” I don’t know if any of you out there watched The Big Bang Theory or ever did but 7s are like those characters in The Big Bang Theory. They’re heady, intellectual, and the foxman. They’re searching, seeking, and doing all of that in that container. They are on a different wavelength. They’re a little bit awkward in terms of social stuff. They’re very highly misunderstood.

Do you feel that in terms of growing up and everything else where you’re like, “Why did someone say that to me or do that to me?” It’s because they can’t see who you see yourself as. 7s are seen as distant, a little aloof, judgy, and holier-than-thou. That’s a surprise to 7s because usually they aren’t. They’re just processing. To go back to your point, Clare, if you’re working with a client and they have no idea about all this stuff, that right there could open so many doors of understanding. It’s like, “I never knew that about myself. Now, it all makes sense, the way that I’ve been perceived.”

The thing about the 7 is this. You’re learning. You are the truth seeker. You are asking the deeper questions about yourself and life. You are learning to trust. That’s a big one, to be trusting and be trustworthy. Oftentimes, 7s will bring in people who have experienced betrayal, and where they are tested and challenged with that higher level of trust, divine timing, universal forces, and all of those things. Also, asking to let go like, “Why did this happen? How could this happen?” Those experiences are the domino effect that allows the 7 to step into their more evolved path.

The key elements and words are trust, openness, vulnerability, and learning to have a higher emotional EQ. Oftentimes, 7s have a very hard time connecting emotionally with other people. They have a lot of emotions but they have a hard time connecting that with other people because there’s an interesting gap there. That’s not bad. It’s just something that they’re working on. Does it make sense overall?

Yes. The seeking and trust thing is hitting home. Both my sister and I are 7s. My dad was a 7. The 7 for my dad is spot on. I feel like my sister and I learned a lot maybe from my mom’s EQ. We’re pretty EQ. That part doesn’t resonate with me, Felicia. I do remember feeling misunderstood as a child a lot because I was hearing, “You should be more like your sisters.” I was thinking, “Why?”

What I would do is also pull in your expression number, which is a 6. That is the nurturing, visionary, home, family, and emotion center. What we then begin to do is put it into a full spectrum and go, “You’ve got this, yet it balances out with this other aspect.” The 6 is how you present yourself in the world. It’s how you express that 7. Sometimes, the 7 can be absorbed, for lack of a better term, for the expression number. For you, that is the nurturing, very loving, a little bit self-sacrificing, family relationship person, very visionary, supportive, and emotionally connected. It’s a counterpoint.

That feels better.

That makes sense because I was listening to some of those 7 things going, “That’s not clear,” but there are only 9 single-digit numbers and there are not only 9 ways that humans express themselves. There are nuances and other parts. You’re seeing that there are other numbers that come into play and we look at them all together in a more complete picture.

The life path is a great place to start. I’ll work with people and say, “If this doesn’t resonate with you, then we are going to dig deep.” In the past, I’ve had someone who has a 5 life path, which is freedom-seeking.

That’s me. I have one of those.

We’re going to talk about that in a second. This woman was so organized. She was very routine-oriented. She married early. She had three kids, a husband, and all this. She’s like, “This doesn’t make sense to me at all.” We looked at her other numbers, which were all relationship, emotion, and grounded numbers. She’s like, “I plan three vacations a year. I’ve taken the kids and my husband. We always go to Europe.”

She was always traveling. She was exploring. She was weaving that into her very organized home life. This is what it’s all about. It’s not a hard start, hard stop. It’s not just this container that has this stuff. It’s a very fluid thing. You could have the same chart as somebody else and you will express it differently. We are all so individual and we are individually interpreting it in whatever way we are.

PTBE Felicia Bender | Numerology
Numerology: You could have the exact same chart as somebody else and you will express it absolutely differently because we are all so individual and we are individually interpreting it.


With that life path number, you’re doing it with a birthday. Was it destiny or is it expression when you said that mine was a 6 and then you’re going to get into the heart’s desire or whatever in there? You also call it soul urge but heart’s desire. That’s what made it interesting for me. I have some friends and they had triplet boys. I’m like, “They’re all going to have that same first number,” but thank goodness, these other things come from that birth name, from the vowels and consonants. I think these three boys are not alike at all and it’s so fascinating. You have the same birthday or you could even have that same chart but you can’t see such a similarity.

Precisely. I have a dear friend of mine who has twins. They are so different. The expression and soul urge, which are taken from the name, are very different in their charts. I find it fascinating with twins, triplets, and everything to look at that.

The Core Numbers: 1-5

We’re going to cover it. We’ve mentioned a lot of terms like soul path and life expression. How many numbers are there? Can we get a quick overview?

There are a lot but what I’m going to give you are the core numbers. The core numbers are the life path. Sometimes, it’s called the birth path. This is the way I would put it into the hierarchy. It is the expression or the destiny number that has both of those names. If you’re astrologically inclined, this is your rising sign. A little bit your ascendant is the expression or destiny number.

The soul urge, also called the heart’s desire, is taken from the vowels in your name. This is your moon in many ways, astrologically. The birthday number is simply the day you were born. There is a number called the personality number. I don’t use that as much. If the sole urge is taken from the vowels in the name, the personality is taken from the consonants because there are more of those. There are many other numbers that go in but those are the core numbers.

I do want to fulfill my promise here and talk briefly about each of the numbers. If you have 1 birthday, we start looking that way but let’s keep it into life path. If you’re a 1, you are the leader, creative, and entrepreneur. If we think about it, the numbers are 1 through 9. 1 is Genesis, starts, beginnings, itself. It is all the I words, Initiation and Independence. The 1 is learning how to stand on their two feet and how to be their quirky, creative, entrepreneurial self.

In entrepreneurship, you can use it loosely. It depends on who you are but these are people who are full of ideas. They are the ones who are productively disruptive and they’re optimal. Let’s say some of the issues that can come with that because that’s helpful. Someone will say, “That’s not me. I’m a 1. I can’t even think about being a leader or boss, having my company, or anything like that.” In that case, people struggle to stand on their two feet.

The 1 is learning independence so they will have a lot of codependencies and dependent situations that they have to extract themselves from. We’ll begin to see a pattern here. With each of the numbers, there will be issues that will be standing in front of you challenging even more so to get to that goal. The 2 is the opposite of the 1. The 2 is the lover, not the fighter. They are intuitive, conflict-avoidant, and the power behind the throne. They are meant to be the diplomats in the world, the partners, and the ones who are the supporters.

They’re meant to be mediating conflict, they will have a lot of conflict in their lives, and that is the biggest blessing and curse for the 2s. They were like, “There’s nothing that gives me an upset stomach more than conflict.” That’s what they’re constantly mitigating and negotiating. I will say that the 2 is learning how to wear somebody else’s shoes and yet not wear those shoes home. They’re learning some healthy, strong emotional boundaries and that’s going to be a rough one for them.

The 3 is the creative communicator. They are all about joyful self-expression and emotional sensitivity, meant to be in the spotlight, and learning impeccable communication. I’ve had so many 3s who are like, “I’d rather throw myself off a 50-story building than speak in front of someone or do anything like that.” The thing about the 3 is that they will have emotional blockages because they’re here to learn.

I’ve had 3s who stutter, have lisps, and have major blockages in that way. They will also have a lot of emotional trauma to work through. At the end of the day, they’re funny and witty. They are forever curious and all of those things that can go with that. The 4 is the systems builder, knowledge purveyor, natural teacher, educator, and artisan.

If you think about the 4, you turn it upside down. It looks like a box, chair, or something. The 4 is the inside-the-box number. It is all about process, stability, and security. They are the systems people and hard workers. If you want something done, you get a 4. They will do it every time. What could possibly go wrong? A lot of self-limitations and actual limitations.

The 4s are very stubborn and afraid of being wrong. They will often repeat the same errors over and over again because they can’t quite see outside of the box. It’s good for them to have friends and partners who can hold their hand and nudge them into taking a little bit more of a risk. The 5 is the sensuous freedom seeker, fun, fearless, and adventurer.

That doesn’t sound like me. That’s the joke. It sounds exactly like me.

Karmic Debt

You’ve got some karma there and all in a good way. I love the karma stuff because numerologically speaking, it opens the door to understanding where you may be balancing some karma. Let me back up because this is confusing. I’m grabbing that out of nowhere. You and I have talked about it but we haven’t spoken on air about it. Rachel has what’s called a karmic debt number.

I want to know about this.

We’re nutshelling it. In numerology, there are four numbers that indicate karmic debt. First of all, I wish they would have had better marketing.

Does it sound scary?

It sounds scary, ominous, and awful. It sounds like, “This is the last thing that I want to hear that’s in my chart.” I’ve written guidebooks. I love these numbers because they do offer me a window of understanding where you have some issues potentially and troubles, even to the point where you tell yourself this unconscious subconscious story that you don’t even know why. When you can get this information, you go, “I don’t know why but I’ve always thought, ‘I can’t do this. There’s no experience that I’ve had that would presuppose that I would have that reaction.’” Yet if it’s a past life thing, then that explains it in that way.

The four numbers that are karmic debt numbers are the 13. If you’re born on the 13th, let’s say, or your life path came out the double-digit before you reduced it to a 4 was a 13 so it’s a 13/4, 14/5, which is what Rachel has, the 16/7, and the 19/1. If any of those show up in your chart, there’s some karmic debt that’s indicated there. If it resonates with you, then you could see where your karmic gift is. With that said, the 14/5, if we look at it this way, the way I deconstruct it is the basic energy and purpose here is the 5.

The 5s ultimate is freedom through self-discipline. It’s the constructive use of freedom. Yet the 5 is the one who wants constant stimulation, the escape artist, the number of excess, the number of scattered focus, and all of those aspects. Yet the 5 is extremely powerful in terms of being versatile, that fearless flyer. They are the catalysts of the world. They’re showing other people through what they do and how they do it, how to be their most fearless selves.

You’re doing your photography, Rachel.

I feel like it’s a double whammy. Of the 5 numbers, two of mine are 5s and two of them are 3s. That is a lot of creative energy.

That is a lot. I have to say, we need to talk after this. The lovely thing, though, is that it’s a lot. The beauty is let’s say you come to me. You’re a secretary. There’s nothing wrong with secretaries, not at all, yet for you, that would be a real problem. You’re also an alcoholic.

I could see that.

You’re also someone who has some emotional eating binges. It becomes this thing as if you’ve got all of this creative energy and you don’t have an outlet, it will implode or explode or both, depending. The beauty of that is it’s not only giving you a permission slip but a mandate. With those numbers, especially with the 3, one of the biggest issues is self-doubt.

If you have all this creative energy and yet you talk yourself out of it all the time and you listen to what other people say that you shouldn’t be doing and all of those things, then you’re going to be unhappy. You’re going to be depressed and have some substance issues with these numbers. It’s setting it up that way because what you’re being asked to do is to be this absolute tsunami of creativity and yet do it with some focus. Do it where you can focus on something and have something to show for it at the end of the day.

I wasn’t a believer until right then. I was like, “Who says?” I thought you were going to say this.

She’s zoned in right there. That ADHD isn’t helping with that focus, is it?

Do I have ADHD or do I have 3, 5, 3, 5, 3?

Usually, they go hand in hand, I’ve got to tell you. It’s wild because most 5s that I know have a diagnosis of ADHD.

Add me to the list.

I have two more people I could add to that list that I know are 5s. I’m like, “They fit with that.”

Like the 3, people who I’ve had as clients who stutter, have speech impediments, and everything, that’s a physical attribute of moving along with your life purpose of being an exquisite communicator despite all odds. It’s the same thing with 5. What I would say here is this. With this karmic debt number, to go back to that, oftentimes, people are either driving in the same rut in the road so to speak like, “Been there, done that.” What this indicates is in a past life, exceedingly, you abused your levels of freedom.

You were wild and incorrigible. You left your responsibilities at the doorstep of other people. You were very indulgent in that way. What you’re being asked to do is come back, make amends for that, and balance that karma. What you’re going to be thrown into are some pretty similar situations that are going to tempt you to do it that way, yet what it’s going to ask of you ultimately is if you look at the number 14, the 1 in 14, which is where deriving the karmic debt indicator, indicates selfishness in a heightened way in a past life. That’s the common denominator for all of these karmic debt numbers. They’re all teen numbers.

13, 14, 16, and 19 to circle back.

With the 14, we look at the 1 selfishness in what category. We look at the number right next to it and that’s the 4. What’s the 4? We talked about it. Hard work, being responsible, following through, coming up with a long-range plan, not abandoning things before they even get started, and coming up with a foundation from which you can do these levels of freedom that you’re going to be asked to do or want to do. I don’t want to belabor it but I do want to say, often people think of freedom like, “I want to do what I want to do whenever I want to do it and however I want to do it.”

That’s not freedom. That’s pretty self-indulgent and it doesn’t get you freedom. Even if we thin slice it like, “I want freedom,” that’s chaos. The 5 is seeking multi-levels of freedom. “I want financial freedom. How am I going to get that?” It’s not by sitting on the couch and playing video games, or smoking pot when you want to. It’s about figuring out how that’s going to work for you. How about freedom of health? It’s not going to be like, “I don’t feel like going to the gym today.”

A lot of 5s are the people who are driven and on the leash of how they feel in the most immediate way. “I don’t feel like it,” and they won’t do it. The 4 is a very opposite energy. If we put them into personalities, the 5 is like, “I don’t feel like it. I have a little headache coming on. I’m not going to go.” The 4 is like, “Pop an aspirin and get on with it. We are late. Get going.”

That’s funny because I’m more of a 4 than a 5. My daughter has a cold and I was like, “Suck it up. Take aspirin and get back cracking with your day. Come on.”

That’s a perfect lead into what I see mostly with people whom I speak with. They’re on a spiritual path in some way or a self-discovery so they’re looking at these things. What I find mostly is that a 14/5 will default more into the 4. It’s almost like there’s this underlying fear of abusing those levels of freedom again. Instead of being that intrepid traveler and the feeler, they resort more to fear and limitation, not in a negative way, or more into being the solid, steady, responsible, reliable one, yet there’s this little thing going, “But I wish I could.” Go off.

I don’t want to talk about myself too much. That’s a lie. I love talking about myself. I do want to hear about the other numbers. I’ve been talking to my therapist and friends about this. I feel like I am ashamed of what the 5 is. That’s what I want but I feel ashamed for wanting those things. I feel 4 is what I should want and what I should force myself to be good enough to be the right kind of person. What I want is the 5 but I feel ashamed for that, which makes loads of sense. I’m like, “This is freaky.”

That makes perfect sense. It’s very profound, I find. You can begin to align all of this information together. It’s a mandate that your soul gave you. This is your soul’s contract, not to get too deep and dire about it. This is what you promised yourself to do in this lifetime. For you to even be in therapy going, “This is a major thing for me. This is an issue that I want to not resolve but resolve,” there’s no resolution ever. Where are these feelings of shame coming from?

Your life path number is a mandate that your soul gave you. Click To Tweet

That doesn’t help anybody. You’re not being your glorious self. You’re between the two. You want to be shining all the wonderful things that you feel like you came here to do, which is a lot of women in midlife. We are finally realizing, “We were fed a lot of stuff. I want to lean into this bigger, better version of myself,” but there are these things that hold you back. In this case with numerology, you’re at least able to feel like, “I’m not crazy,” especially with that whole karmic debt, which I was afraid of when I heard that word. I’m like, “I don’t know what that means. That sounds scary.” It’s one more reflection, Rachel, that this is bigger than just you wondering. It’s part of your soul’s growth that you came here to do.

I need to get in touch with you after this, Felicia. Let’s do 6, 7, 8, and 9 before we spend the whole time doing this with 5.

We’re going to do that but I am going to say one more thing, though. If I were to look also at cycles of time that you’re in, you are in a cycle of time that you’ve been in since the age of 31 and ends at the age of 40. This is a clearing house time for you. This is moving into your absolute more heartfelt humanitarian thing.

I love that it ends at 40. Even in our Western world, 40 is big.

You’re going to love this even more. It’s from 40 to 49. You’re doing the prep work for total empowerment.

I’m getting goosebumps, Rachel.

Readers, you can’t see what Clare’s doing but she is fist bumping, dancing, and clapping. She is so happy about this.

That’s another thing that I love about this tool. We feel it. If we were doing the numbers more in-depth, we could get into depth about what that brings to the table and what you’re being asked to do. It’s not only what you’re being asked to do. It is energetic support. It’s what’s lofting you and giving you flight. It is this container of fuel that you have at your ready if you only knew it was there.

Can you see how that is so motivating? If I was Rachel, I’d be okay. I keep telling her, “That was the eye of the cyclone.” You can’t see your way out. I’m on that other side. I wish someone was there for me that would have said, “You’re in the shit storm.” It is so much work. As Felicia is saying, it’s the stuff that’s going to produce that next nine-year cycle. I do want to make sure readers are realizing it when they’re like, “How does she know what?” 31 to 40 gives her 9 years, readers.

Each year, she is going to have a year. It’s going to be 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, and 9. The cycle starts again. She is a new version or a higher version, hopefully, of herself. That’s why you said there are going to be some great things if you’re going to do your work, Rachel, with some of this karmic debt and pulling it together so that you can shine that 5 of yourself and have less guilt for when the next 9-year starts. Is it 40 to 49 or 41 to 50?

The Core Numbers: 6-9

For her, it is. Know that it’s not everybody. It depends on the chart calculation. I find it very powerful. It clicks with us on a soul level in many ways. We can go back to that all we want but we’re going to go and do the 6. If you’re a 6 life path, the 6 is the nurturing visionary. In numerology, even if you look at the number 6, it looks like a little pregnant belly. If you have a 6, you are the cosmic parent. That doesn’t mean you’re going to be an actual parent so don’t be like, “I’m not a parent. I don’t want to be.” Often, if you choose not to be a parent or in a marital situation, it shows up with your friends, community, family of origin, family of choice, and your work.

The key themes here are home, family, family, duty, service, love, relationship, and Responsibility. The Responsibility is a capital R because what the 6 is learning is how not to be overly responsible for everything. When you have a 6 in your chart, what could possibly go wrong? They’re controlling perfectionists and have high levels of idealism. They’re the big-picture people. They’re very justice-oriented and into aesthetics as well. It’s that Libra energy in many ways. 6 is learning acceptance, how to live, and not be critical and judgmental of people who don’t measure up to you and your expectations.

That one was good. Whenever I saw 6, especially with this very cool girlfriend of mine, I was like, “I don’t understand 6.” By you saying all of those, the plus and the minus, I’m like, “Nailed it.”

Clare, you have a 6b expression and so do I. I’ve been a mom. I’ve done the stay-at-home and all the things, as they would say. An example of a 6 because I’m using it from my own experience, I had no clue when I was younger what’s controlling, exacting, and perfectionism. I’m serious. I remember one time, a girlfriend came over to my house. I was a mother of two little kids and a dog. I was a faculty wife. I was getting a PhD. I was doing all of it. My friend comes over, looks around, and is like, “Something’s wrong here.

I’m not saying this out loud but I am internally was like, “I have been juggling all of these planes perfectly. How dare you come in?” I honestly didn’t think about it in that way. I was just doing it but I was like, “Everyone should be able to do this.” Should is a big word for the 6. Soon as we stopped shitting on ourselves is when good things can happen. I had that internal response and she said, “I know what it is. Your house is very clean and perfect. You’ve got these kids.”

You would think that my response would have been a laugh like, “What do you mean? That’s so sweet of you.” No. My response internally was, “Everyone’s house should be this way.” It wasn’t in my consciousness but if I reflect on it, I can very much hear my internal dialogue. It takes a while for a 6 to unravel that if ever. They’re super exacting, let’s put it that way. We move from the 6 to the 7, which we’ve already spoken of.

The 8 is the power number. It is money power control authority. I call it the material manifester, yet it always sounds raw. People are always celebrating but you’re like, “Wait a minute. Be careful what you wish for.” To me, 8 is a rough go because it’s a butt kicker. Those who are born on the 8 life path, what are they learning? They’re learning how to step up or get stepped on. They’re learning how to manifest what they want and desire in this world. They’re learning how to empower themselves financially and in every other way.

It’s also the infinity symbol. It’s divine feminine ultimately but at the get-go, it is a hard one because people are going to call in situations and all of that that test their ability to be personally empowered. For instance, most people with an 8 life path come from abusive, addictive families, poverty, and all of these very dire situations and circumstances. They’re being asked to rise above.

There are occasions when you can be an eight and you can be brought up in a family where you get support, you have wealth, and you are taught how to use your power and influence in a healthy way. I do know several of those people but most people struggle with that. I often will have women who are 8s and they’re like, “I hate money.” We all have money issues. We’re only humans but when you’re an 8, it is a love-hate relationship with money that is at the top of the ladder. It all comes down to that.

The pros are you’re empowered and influential. You have a strong sense of self in that way. The problems with it are obvious. You can be either over-focused on money, a workaholic, and all that goes with that or you could be the one who’s very victimized, by scarcity, addictions, and all the things that will drag you under. We’ve got the number 9, which is the compassionate humanitarian. At the end of the day, this number is that old soul, super creative, quirky, and a wonderful weirdo in the best possible way.

PTBE Felicia Bender | Numerology
Numerology: The nine is the compassionate humanitarian.


I have to be careful when I say that because I’ve had 9s that are like, “I’m not a weirdo. Stop it.” I’m like, “I’m sure you are but in the best way.” To me, it’s a compliment. At the end of the day, the 9 is learning integrity. They are a fountain of wisdom. They are the number in numerology of loss, completions, and letting go. It’s a very high spiritual calling. These people are creative tsunamis. Even if we put a few 9 life paths in a blender to get the energy, we’ve got Mother Teresa and Gandhi, they’re badasses.

I’ve not done my husband’s numbers yet. Clare, you can follow up with me on this. I’ll come back and report. I’m going to bet money that Steven has got a 9 somewhere in there quite high up on his chart.

These people can do anything, yet what they are meant to be doing is to do something that speaks to their hearts and souls. They want to leave the world a better place than when they showed up. They have very special skills and talents to do that. Often, it has to do with creative genius. We’ve got the spiritualists but then put these people in that same blender.

We’ve got Adele, Prince, Jim Carrey, David Byrne of the Talking Heads, and Elvis Presley, who is into numerology. These people are weirdos. They’re otherworldly. You might not want to be married to them but you certainly want something that they’ve got. They’ve got this thing. They are multi-leveled and multi-gifted. Ultimately, if you listen to any of their gig interviews, they will always reference their spirituality in some way, shape, or form.

Master Numbers

You have the master numbers. I’ll briefly say that what often brings people to numerology is that they discover they have a master number in their chart or as their life path. The master numbers are 11, 22, and in this context, 33. If that shows up in your chart, it’s called a master number. What are the master numbers? They indicate that you came with higher spiritual potential, no matter how you might define that, and some more intense challenges.

These numbers are innately in conflict with themselves so there’s a lot going on when you have master numbers roaming around in your chart. That’s something we could talk about more in-depth at another time. If you have 11, 22, or 33, you’ll want to do a little research on that because it can offer you a lot of a-ha moments about some of the struggles that you might have in life.

One example would be 11, a 1 and a 1 is a 2, but you’ve got a double of the 1 energy, the productive, disruptor, and creative but then you got the 2, which is the opposite. It is the lover, not the fighter. There’s some of that in the way Rachel was with her 4 and 5 energy that it’s so different.

The master numbers are always calling you into positions of leadership and pushing you on a higher spiritual pathway of evolution for yourself and others. There’s a lot of high anxiety there. There are a lot of experiences that these people have that can be pretty rough. We learn these things not by being comfortable. We never learn anything by being comfortable.

That’s such a good point, Felicia.

I’m so serious. I even watched a very brief clip of George Clooney. He was like, “You don’t learn a damn thing but through success.” The only time you learn anything is when you are unsuccessful.

Failed miserably.

He’s a 1 life path. The 1 life path is all about failing forward. It’s so fascinating if you geek out on some of this stuff. I’m a total geek. I can usually guess someone’s life path or at least a prominent number within one minute of listening to how they speak, the words they use, what they talk about, and all of those things. It’s interesting.

With that geek, is that 7 anywhere in there for you? You said 6 for the expression. What is your life path, did you say?

My life path is a 3 and then I have a 6 expression. My heart’s desire is either an 11 or a 2/20. It depends on how you calculate it. I’m the numerologist who will give you the options and then we all have to feel it out on our own. There are different ways of doing things like with anything. You could go to 3 different doctors and they’ll give you 3 different diagnoses in 3 different ways. It’s the same thing. With that said though, my heart’s desire is either a 2 or an 11/2. My birthday is 22. I’ve got masters floating around.

There’s another master number because you’ve got your personality number is a master number as well.

I’m not bragging because there’s no bragging there. It’s an eye roll. I’m like, “There we go.” One of my teachers always said, “Don’t have path envy.” Be careful what you wish for because sometimes it’s a lot to manage, yet there’s beauty in it truly. As I age, this is one of the benefits. As we mature and experience life and ourselves, we understand that this is a constant. This is our soul.

I have this beautiful friend who does past life regression through all of her experiences, dealing with the higher self if we want to talk about it in that way. It’s so simple what she says but it struck me as so profound to think about our soul checked in here to have as many rich, weird, difficult, crazy, and amazing experiences. As we possibly can, we didn’t check in here to sit around, be comfortable, and happy all the time. Sit on a couch and be okay. That’s not the point.

Our soul checked in here to have as many rich, weird, difficult, crazy, and amazing human experiences as we possibly can. We didn't check in here to just sit around and be comfortable and happy all the time. Click To Tweet

The point is to go in and do this thing and do it as much as you can and as many things. To me, that hit home. Think about this as a soul progression. We’ve got one soul. I’m going across the line maybe for those readers but maybe not that we believe that we have one soul and we reincarnate. We have one soul, yet we come in with different costumes.

Enrich And Enliven The Soul’s Experience

The soul is constant, infinite, and forever. It’s just we’re building these experiences that enrich and enliven that soul’s experience. I find it very exciting to be able to find some modalities, whatever they happen to be. I use numerology but it’s not all I use. I love astrology and other things so it’s not just that there’s one thing that is going to be the catch-all end-all. I don’t think for any of us.

Your purpose here in life is taking these different things and feeling what feels right and true. Rachel’s eyes lit up when you were talking about the 5 with the 4. From 31 to 40, she’s got some stuff to learn and then there will be this new cycle. Readers, what we wanted to do is be able to give you another way of looking at your life. If it shines some light and gives you some clarity, it’s my favorite word because it’s my name. It’s like, “I want clarity in life and keep figuring out, why was I here? What’s my purpose? Why are these lovely people that are around me? What’s theirs? How we can all learn some of this together and rise together?”

I learned so many more things. I’ve loved numerology, I feel like for many years, but I didn’t know there were all these other things. I just thought there was a life path. I’m learning some of these other things. What I learned is to understand the negative parts of each number. When I do sometimes see someone who’s a number, I think, “It doesn’t sound like them.” When I was writing down what lesson they have, what’s that negative, and the shadow work, I was like, “That makes sense.”

I call it the opposing forces. We’re always simply going to be working with that opposing force that’s challenging us to step up and step into it. It’s fascinating.

I love it. Thank you so much. I’m going to use the little analogy that I gave to my husband when we were talking about crystals. I went through a little bit of a crystal phase. I haven’t bought crystals in a long time but I went through a little bit of a crystal phase. He was like, “Do you believe that these work?” I said, “I don’t know if these rocks are magic and if their vibrations change the world but if I hold this beautiful blue stone and believe that it will give me the power to speak more clearly, then it will because I’m magical.”

“My brain is magical. What I believe is magical.” I don’t think that we’re asking everybody to believe in past lives or give over their faith and join the numerology cult. If you thought, “That means something to me. That helps me. That gives me comfort or inspiration,” that’s a good thing. Whether or not you believe that it’s magic, I don’t think it matters. Go for it.

One of the fascinating things that I have found about thought processes is when you begin to think about things in this way, it shifts everything in your life. When you stop looking at, “Why did that happen to me?” Why did that happen to you? How are you using it? What gift did it give you? I don’t want to beat the drum on it but I find it very fascinating because often people will come to me and say, “I want clarity. I want to know what my life purpose is. Am I supposed to be a doctor or a famous actor?”

A brief example would be let’s say you feel your life purpose. You’re a little kid. You know that you want to be in the NFL and be a professional football player. For some strange, magical reason, you do it against all odds. You are the kid in poverty. You are this and that. You’ve done this. It’s amazing. That’s what you said. “This is my purpose.” Maybe you even quarterback a couple of Super Bowls. You win. Great. When do you retire when you’re a professional football player? I’m in this example.

The early 30s, I don’t know.

Is your life over? Are you done? That was your life purpose and you did it 1,000%. That’s where a lot of child stars and athletes start to unravel because they have this focus. When you can turn to a tool like this and go, “Let’s say you’re an NFL player, you’re a 3 life path, and you’ve done great, you’ve got other numbers that make your athleticism great but you get out.” You can say, “With my NFL, what I’m going to be good at is being a sports broadcaster.”

“I have the 3. I have the communication and everything else. That’s how I’m going to use my gifts, skills, talents, and my purpose about the game in that way.” Let’s say you’re a 1 and you’re the same NFL player. You’re probably going to go open your car lot because it’s a business or a restaurant, or maybe you come up with a nonprofit organization. There is no one thing, which should be a great relief to most of us. You’re not going to miss the boat.

I hope that that’s part of what our readers know about Rachel and Clare’s journey. Reinvention and empowerment can happen at any stage and it’s welcome.

Especially if you think you’re going down the wrong path.

Turn around. You know it’s time if it’s not fitting. We have a very wonderful episode that we created here. Rachel, I feel like we gave people a taste. I would love to make sure that if someone says, “I’m more interested,” they can go to your website. They can perhaps book a session with you to go through that whole number thing for you, Felicia. Is there something else, Rachel, that I’m missing that would be great for this?

No. I’m itching to go and do my husband, my children, my parents, and my siblings. This is what I’m going to do. Let’s wrap this up. I’ve got stuff to do.

I know. I’ve been doing that ever since her workshop on romantic numerology. I’m like, “I’m doing everyone.” I even did my new granddaughters and I’ve told my daughter, “We got some good numbers here. We got a 7 like her grandma, great aunt, and great, great grandpa.” She’s got a destiny of 1 and a heart’s desire of 1 so she’s going to have some things that she’s trying to move forward. It’s more than a fun little thing. It’s another tool to help us understand some things.

You’ve had so much wisdom, Felicia. When we invite somebody to speak with us and we’re like, “We’ve got less than an hour,” and you have got so much more to share than that, as Clare says, we’ll make sure that people know how to reach you and learn more from you if they want to. Thank you so much for sharing your time and wisdom with us.

It’s a pleasure. Thank you.

Felicia, you said some of the things you’re trying to do in 2024, post-pandemic stuff. You want to get out and see some eye faces. I’m pretty sure you’ll be offering them even more going forward. You’re going to be in Colorado and I forgot where, maybe Chicago in May 2024 I hear.

I’m in Chicago in May 2024 and in St. Louis too. I love doing this in person. You get conversations and examples going. There’s never any mistake about who shows up so you’re always learning from somebody else and you’re going to take home the story they told. I find the group work extremely powerful.

It’s FeliciaBender.com, correct?

That’s correct.

I click on the 7 and then I see what month it is. This is for March 2024. This is a nine-month for me. I’m a 7 life path but that means I’m in a 6 in 2024. It is about my relationships, family, and home. In a nine-year, it’s about closures and surrendering. It’s each month. It’s so interesting to me to see what the theme is. That’s why I love your emails, Felicia. I look forward to the end of the month before. I look and go, “What can I expect for that next month? What should I keep my eyes open for?”

“What’s happening?”

Let’s get the UK audience all email Felicia to say that she needs to come to the UK. If enough of us do it, she might come.

It is funny because I do have a venue. Where are you in the UK?

I’m in Central Scotland.

What part of Scotland?

I’m in Fife.

I spent three months in Edinburgh in 2023.

It’s 30 minutes to 40 minutes max from me.

We should have gotten together back then.

Come back. It’s fine.

I’ll have to come back because it’s great and fun. From the website, there’s a lot of free material there for you to calculate your life path number and get some information. There’s some video. The forecast is based on the personal year number so it’s a different thing but it’s laid out there to help inform you and give you some support if that’s something you’re interested in.

We always end each episode by saying, and you can join in or not, Felicia, I love you.

I love you, Rachel. Thank you so much, Felicia. I’m so honored that you were here with us.

Thank you.


Important Link


About Felicia Bender

PTBE Felicia Bender | NumerologyFelicia Bender – The Practical Numerologist® uses numerology to validate and define your pathway and purpose in life in an empowered way that’s fun, inspiring, and actionable.

She’s the author of Redesign Your Life: Using Numerology To Create The Wildly Optimal You, Master Numbers 11, 22, 33: The Ultimate Guide & The Ultimate Guide To Practical Numerology: Mapping Your Path & Purpose.

Felicia is the resident numerologist for AstroStyle.com and is featured in many media outlets, including Refinery 29, Women’s Health, the Los Angeles Times and more.

She’s a Certified Pranic Healing® practitioner, taught by Grand Master Choa Kok Sui and Master Stephen Co. Before devoting herself full-time to her numerology practice, she earned a B.A., M.A. and PhD in Theatre from the University of Missouri-Columbia. She worked as a real estate agent, investor, and designer. She enjoys baking, taking long walks, and playing the drums. She’s the proud Mom of two daughters and three grand-dogs.

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