This episode discussed the five sexual styles of the Erotic Blueprint demonstrated in the Netflix Show: Sex, Love, & Goop. Rachel’s primary sexual style is Kinky and Clare’s primary is equal Energetic & Sensual.
Rachel shares with us her “naughty” secret for a stronger orgasm and laughs about her “epic fail” when experimenting with bondage. Clare discloses a game changer in both her desire for a self-pleasure practice and the orgasm intensity after she began treating herself with the same attention and care that she shows her lover.
Highlights:
*Sexual styles are different, just like Five Love Languages, by Gary Chapman
*Netflix show called Sex, Love, and Goop shows sex therapist, Jaiya and her Erotic Blueprint Quiz that is helpful to understand yourself and your partner’s sexual style.
*The five types are Sexual, Sensual, Energetic, Kinky, and Shapeshifter. There is a free test and an in depth test for $17.
* Clare mentions that she wished she had this test when she was married to help her understand that she is sensual & energetic and her former husband is sexual. Knowing that there were different arousal styles would have been helpful to the relationship and foster understanding of motivations regarding sex.
*On Sex, Love, & Goop, the couple Erika and Damon had different sexual styles. Damon commented before the test that his wife is “not as sexual as me”. Turns out that he just didn’t know the ways that Erika liked to be turned on. Her blueprint style is kinky and Damon’s is sexual, with kinky as his last preference.
* Jaiya took out a box of toys and Erika stated, “We’ve got to get a basket like that in our house.” Rachel and Clare are in complete agreement that everyone needs a fun basket.
*Jaiya clarified about the definition of “kinky” which includes being turned on by taboo but Jaiya also mentioned that kinky sex could help take you out of your head and into your body. Rachel resonated with that part of the definition.
* Rachel loved that Damon got pleasure from turning his partner on and it didn’t matter that it wasn’t his thing. He was doing her thing and watching her respond.
*Our magic word “Naughty” is first uttered by Rachel, and Clare adores hearing Rachel say it in her Scottish accent. (It is now the name of our highest level of support on Patreon for our podcast called the “Naughty69”, we invite you to check it out.)
*Rachel shares that her naughty secret is saying “a good old JC” (Jesus Christ) right before she experiences an orgasm and this makes her experience her orgasm more intensely. The taboo is that with her Mormon upbringing saying “JC” in this context is considered blaspheme.
*Rachel asks Clare to share a sensual secret of hers. Clare reveals that as a sensual, she needs to be touching her partner as part of her turn on. She also loves to smell her partner’s skin. She didn’t know at the time, but she stopped dating a partner in her early twenties because his smell was not pleasing to her, yet he was desirable in other ways.
*Back to the Sex, Love, & Goop show and we find out that Damon isn’t a sexual, he’s an energetic. He experiences an energetic orgasm on the show (meaning he experienced something he’s never felt before sexually, that releases a lot of pleasurable energy into his body without ejaculating or having his penis touched).His mind is blown.
*Rachel liked how Jaiya gave the couple permission to explore their sexuality and there was no shame. Rachel also enjoyed learning that if there is a sexual mismatch (as there often is), you can give yourself permission to explore and learn how to pleasure yourself.
*This comment reminded Clare that she never really made time to self pleasure/masterbate because orgasms with herself were not very exciting compared to orgasms she had with a partner.
*Clare was coached in August 2021 by another colleague to set up her self pleasure practice to include what was working when she was with her partner. So, she took her time (45 minutes), had a candle, music, and gave herself a body massage and voila, she had amazing orgasms! It was a light bulb moment and Clare needed a coach to point out a connection she had not figured out on her own.
*Rachel talked about an epic fail in her experimenting one day with her husband. She tried tying him up but he is 0% kinky on the Erotic Blueprint test, so it didn’t go well, but they laughed about it later and are proud of themselves for trying.
*Rachel remembered that Jaiya said that couples that innovate, stay together.
Links:
Erotic Blueprint Quiz (Basic is free and In depth version is $17): https://theblueprintbreakthrough.com/
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